You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
