Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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