If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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