my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
