I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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