hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
