remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
