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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She seemed pretty into it.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico

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• (801): View more from Utah

  You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery

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