I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
ttyl tear gas
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
