I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
