apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
