so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize