I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize