Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize