Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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