A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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