dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
