Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
