Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
