Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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