Pappa wants mamma naked
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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