Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
