It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
