you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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