i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
