im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
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Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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