I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
