I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
