I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
