I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
