Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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