Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
this will be a night to untag.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Randomize
