I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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