I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
