I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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