did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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