This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
