We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
