My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize