shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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