i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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