just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
