Just fell off a train. Bad.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
