yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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