lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
