Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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