i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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