ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
