She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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