im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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