OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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