I want you more than these girls want KFC
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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