Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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