There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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