Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
