You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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