If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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