He asked to "fluff my boner.."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
