someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How external is "for external use only"?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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